a belated entry about the 23rd

many thanks to one and all who popped by wala sat nite!! it really made my nite!! i mean, wat can be better than having your close friends there with u to celebrate your b'day, 2 cakes (one of which is a hand-made ice cream cake made by Janet!! kudos to the max), a few pressies (yes, including the tissue that i got from the flowers :P), having shirlyn of the unxpected sing for u and of cos, loads of beer!! hahaha.... it was a nite to remember...

and yes, the celebration continued yesterday with having spent most of the day in town with lynn... caught 'imagine me & you'... quite good show to watch... if only fairy tales like this happen in real life and to me... whahahaha... we are entitled to dream once in a while rite.. :P

going in for sensory dys soon le.... hope i will survive this ba...

once again, kudos to all that made my b'dae ever so special!

a start to a new year.... the year of independence...

yupz... its my 21st birthday.... and yupz, i'm still at chunyi's place studying for sensory dysfunction.... tried to stay up the whole nite to study, but only made it till 4 plus and i was out cold on the floor... lol

just wanna do a shout out to the friends i have: thanks for all the gifts and well-wishes pips!
to the class of OT0401: thanks for the boxers, shirt, belt and of cos, the bag!! i'm in love with it!
to mich: thanks for the card, its really great to see ur 'tidy' handwriting again!
to dia and eve: can't wait for wala tonite! thanks for wanting to spent time with me!
to people who stayed over at chuns' place: thanks for the tiramisu cake!! great surprise!

cheers to one and all ya! and i do hope i survive this year to the next! lol

looking back these 10 weeks...

its has been ten weeks or so of sch... and its amazing how so many things have taken placed... to say the least, we are at least coming to the end of the first sem of the 3rd year already... one more attachment and another sem to go and we are out of here... tok about it being super fast in the third year... i think its even faster than any other sems that we ever had... well, the fast paced life means loads more of work to do, lesser slp to enjoy... yupz, have not really have a proper slp for the past week, averaging 4 hours a slp a day... and its driving me cranky... really cranky....

maybe i should drop my expectations of myself... cos i know its driving me nuts... the abnormal tots and beliefs that i have... but then again, who doesnt want the best for themselves? sighz... i really dono wat i want... on one hand, i want to do my best in everything tat i'm doing, that includes sch and life... so thus the high expectations, but at the same time, i just wanna let go of everything and let life just go on without any expectations... i'm confused, lost and stressed... not the greatest combi to have...

well, at least to take off some stress, the fyp group is finally getting its act together... at least we are moving in some directions and that we are kinda working better together... hope this will last....

i just need company around me... just be there and endure my crankiness, and to hang out and chill.... i need company to distress!!

life is as such....

life is as such.... nothing much we can do about it... and to think people can say that life is good.... well, i gues it depends on which side of the coin u are looking at... and u can't fault me for not looking at the other side... cos i think it doesn't really matter.... either way, life goes on huh...

sometimes, i really wonder.... do u really even bother? wat was i to u? was i tat terrible a gf to u that u have to do this to me!? these tots are driving me nuts at times... not tat i want to think about it... they just come... sighz.. mayb lynn is rite... till that day tat i can stare at u straight into ur eyes and not feel a thing, i guess that is when i have truely let go with no regrets...

just want to bury myself in work... i just want to get this whole project over and done with... i just want to get on with life... i don't think i want to even strife to be the best, second best is fine by me... not trying too hard in life already... tok about attitude.... lol...

pseudo- break week...

yupz, the past week was suppose to be break week... suppose to use this week to complete my assignments and try to catch up with lessons.... yupz, suppose.... but think my course mates and i are so used to having to come back this week that it feels like any other week in school... all the meetings and projects that we are swimming in... sighz...

the week past by kinda fast... too bz doing work to really notice time pass by... tried to get things done here and there... meetings everyday back in school... it kinda all just pass without much incident... i'm tired from this kinda lifestyle... but guess its the price to pay for wanting to study something that i like... one more year ahead onli, going to make this year worth it and going to look back on it and say that i have no regrets having spent it the way i did...

fyp is still going nowhere as usual... keep arguing over stuff and trying to change people's mind set... is it really that difficult to accept other's point of view sometimes? or m i tat difficult a person to work with that we always end up arguing... sometimes i just can't stand ur shitty attitude when it comes to explaining stuff to others... it makes me feel like an idiot listening to u... and i can't take it lying down that u are trying to drive the project in ur direction... not that i strongly disagree to it, but for goodness sake, its a group work... everyone should have a say in things and not just always take ur way... neway, ur way is not always the right way as pointed out by lecturers and stuff... so let us have a say in it!! and we don't have tat much time on hand as u think we do! stop being so idealistic and then come to say that we are not motivated for the project and not doing our parts... we just don't want to end up doing something that we know might not turn out to be good, we are just being practical.... sighz... i sometimes wonder is it just me!? mayb i don't have the best working attitude either... if thats the case, let me know, i'm willing to change so that the group can function better and at least move in a certain direction... sighz... so much said... i really hope all goes well in the end... i really hope so....

this week also made me realise how people really do change... well, sometimes its for the better, sometimes, its for the worst... well, i just hope u are really comfortable in the change in u...

i'm tired... my tots are scattered again.... i'm stressed... i wanna go smoke till my lungs drop... i wanna just immerse in the loud music and blinding ligths of the dance floor and pretend noting else is around me... for a moment, that place seemed like bliss....

someone find me my muse....