the end of the first week....

yupz.... one week down, SEVEN more to go.....

so far, this week has been ok i guess... a little disorientated, and blur at times, but getting the hang of things.... so far, did a few initials and stuff... not fully competent yet, but still not too bad i guess... somehow i still expect more of myself, like not screwing up so much considering i'm a 3rd year student already.... well, will see how things go for the next week, hope i can just up the performance so far...

i think i'm driving myself nuts some times with the pressure i place on myself... hahaha...well, look at the upside, at least i'm aware of it and its not OCD... hahaha... should really take some time off for myself and just chill..... falala.... easier said than done... lol...

staying away from home is quite fun... u should see the dishes that we come up with man... really everything also impromtu one... lol... but somehow, it all turned out quite nice... hahaha.. we even made extra to bring to work the next day la.... so i guess, i think we three can survive in auzzie if we go over...

can't wait to go over to eve's to eat great malay food later... -rumbling stomach-

some kind of a feat....

yes, i manage to survive the past week... with an average of 4 hours of slp a day... its amazing that i could even do the papers without falling asleep on them... imagine having to stay up till 3 plus in the morning and then wake at 8 plus to so as to be in sch on time to take the paper... it was madness i tell u... one paper after another... its kinda like trying to pile information one after another in the span of these few days... my head feels heavy from all the infomation and i'm getting a headache already... just glad that its over and that i could manage most of the papers set...

i'm glad tat i manage to scrap through the sensory dysfunction prac... its not the best grades or anywhere near what i wanted... but i guess it was just deserving of my performance that day itself... i know i could have done better, but i didn't... well, tats set, hope that overall, this module, i can still get my B...

y i can't just live my own life the way i want it!? y is it that there is always someone there to stop things from going the way i want it to? kinda sick and tired of all these red tapes in life... so much for autonomy as u age... its no where near fair with the amount of responsibility one has to handle and then be limited in freedom... but then again, life is never fair, its just life being life... its just like tat....

i really wonder, i am really what others see me to b? can i live up to their expectations?! i mean, i take it as an honour that people think that i'm capable enuff and that they see a future in me... but i dono if i'm even up to that standard... i don't even know who i really am... or wat i'm capable of.. y?

next week onwards is another 2 more months of long stretched out stressful work... i know i will survive...